My First Class

I just talked with my daughter, Sandra, and she said I MUST blog about my first class while it's still fresh in my mind. Here goes:
Of course, this has been looming in my mind since I got home on Sunday. Michael had me scheduled to teach today at 11:00 AM. I've been going over my dialogue like a mad woman to be sure that I know it. I'm sure I know it, I just wasn't sure, you know what I mean??! Anyway, I'm doing the dialogue in every spare minute, including when I'm sleeping. This morning came and I woke up around 6:00 AM. All morning I practiced the dialogue in my head. As the time drew near, I was more and more apprehensive. There were times in my life when I was supposed to do public speaking and I was so terrified that I would cancel the event. It's very scary for me, since I am one of those people who think that public speaking is next to death as a fear factor. Not only that but having to say the entire dialogue and not getting my rights and lefts confused, making sure to finish in exactly 90 minutes, remembering the order of the postures, etc.
I tried turning the lights out and sitting in quiet while doing deep breathing. I couldn't focus. I turned on the TV and "Once" was playing. It's one of my favorite movies so I thought that might calm me. It didn't. I couldn't concentrate on it.
The time to leave came and I drove to Bend and to the studio. When I arrived there were 4 people that I didn't know standing there waiting for them to open the studio. They keep it locked during class time. Yikes!!! I don't know these people. Oh man, that was scary. Then I saw Gayle, Betty and Deb. I felt better seeing them there. People kept coming in. Part of it was all my yoga friends wanted to be there to support me and I love them for that. But......a bunch of people I didn't know were there too. Then, the kicker, John walked in with his yoga mat! He wanted to surprise me and I remember thinking, "I don't know if I want him to witness this!" Coleene walked in with a vase of flowers for me. What an amazing thing to do! It ended up being a full class.
Five minutes til "show time"! I felt like I was suffocating. How was I ever going to get through all 26 postures and 2 breathing exercises!!!
Michael handed me the Madonna mike and turned it on. I walked into the room and stood on the podium, looking over all those eager faces. There were so many of them! I really never saw anyone except those who were directly in front of me.
I introduced myself and said it was my first day and I just got back from training. I got a big round of applause and that was comforting.
So, I began. First, the Pranayama breathing. It felt OK, so I got through both sets. I felt strong all the way through Awkward. Then started the "left, right postures". It's really hard, since you are facing opposite them, to figure out which is right and which is left. I bungled a few and got some rights and lefts mixed up, but managed to work my way through the standing series. Well, I hit a glitch at Tree Post/Toe Stand. I couldn't remember how that went and instead of doing Tree Pose as the first set and Toe Stand as the second set, I started doing two sets of Tree. Luckily I had Molly right in front of me, and she just kept doing it the way it was supposed to be, so I caught on and ended up doing it the right way, I think. Glancing at the clock told me I was right on time. The Savasana was great cause it gave me a chance to shut up for 2 minutes.
It surprised me how hot it was in the room. I was sweating like a pig and wasn't even practicing. I guess my nerves were practicing. The people were looking like wounded soldiers and some of them were giving me evil glances. Not the teachers and the regulars, of course, but the newer people. I suppose I was holding some of the postures a little long but I wanted to say the entire dialogue as best I could. With a little help from Molly, I finally got to Spinal Twist (a/k/a Final Spinal). That's when I knew I was going to make it ~ not before! Of course, I was elated when Blowing In Firm Pose came up, because I knew that was my last posture. I thanked them, and left the room feeling like I had just run a marathon, or maybe finished a prize fight. Whatever, I did it and I can't tell you how happy I am to have come full circle and finished my first class.
Tomorrow morning is my second class, and I hope I'll be a little more relaxed. Maybe...we'll see. At any rate, my first class is done and I'll never have to have a first class again ~ that's the main thing.

Graduation

It hardly seems real that today we go up on the stage and receive our certificates from Bikram and Rajashree! Well, I can't say I haven't earned it. For sure. I have gone through some things this past 9 weeks that I never thought I could go through and................ I'm still here! Of that, I'm very proud. There is one thing for sure and that's the fact that without the help and support of the friends I have made here, I wouldn't have made it. The people are what make this training work. We are all like one huge family. There's nothing like adversity to bring people together!
To recap the week, Monday, I frankly don't even remember! It was the usual two classes and two lectures, but other than that, it's a blur. Tuesday was the day that stands out in my mind. We were waiting for Bikram and the 1:00 PM lecture and for some unknown reason, he never showed up. We were quickly herded back into the stinky, smelly yoga room where we were informed that there was to be an impromptu posture clinic. People were to go up on the podium and recite several postures in a row while the rest of us demonstrated. Needless to say, there was a huge amount of grumbling and groaning! That would mean an all day, marathon yoga class. Well, as usual, we had no choice in the matter so that's what we did. About 20 or so people went up there and we had to do the postures as they recited them. Of course, being beginners, a lot of them stumbled and held us in postures for what seemed like forever! Aarrrrggghh! Finally, they got a clue and started having us divide up into rows so the odd numbered rows did one person's postures, while the even numbered rows did the other, and so on. At least we got a little rest that way.
After that debacle, we were treated(!?) with another Bikram late night movie. One of those Indian mythology things that is played at deafening decibels until 2:00 AM. I just plugged in my ear plugs and tried to nap sitting up in the totally uncomfortable chairs they provide. So, after all day yoga and a 2:30 AM bedtime, I passed out like a rock on my bed and the 7:00 AM alarm came immediately, or so it seemed.
As an aside story, we are divided up into groups of 15 or 20 people according to our last names. I am in Group 13 and they are the best! It's funny how you get more attached to your group members than anyone else in the training. They are REALLY like family because you go through all the posture clinics together and, believe me, posture clinics are the most stressful part of the training. Anyway, each group was asked to nominate 2 or 3 people to represent us at graduation doing a dance like demonstration of all the postures. Meaning, the people in the group with the best postures. I couldn't believe it, but my group chose me as one of the people. I was honored beyond belief. I have many good postures, especially the ones that are strength dominated like Triangle, Locust, etc. However, my Standing Bow Pulling and Standing Head to Knee leave something to be desired and they are the showcase postures. We had to gather in front of Bikram while he chose the ones he wanted to do the "yoga dance". When we got to Standing Head to Knee, I fell out. Mine is just not strong enough yet to hold on indefinitely. I know it will be, but I still have some work to do. He said, "Maam, you go. Your Standing Head to Knee no good!" I thought it was funny. He also said, "No hard feelings" which was nice of him. As I said, I was honored that my group chose me and that's enough for me. It was funny because right off he eliminated everyone with a tatoo. He hates tatoos and it's kind of a shame because some of the best people in the group were tatoo people. I guess it's the first lesson in life for some of these kids that you will be descriminated against if you have large tatoos on your body.
Wednesday was interesting because we had the advanced class demonstration. We all went into the yoga room after lunch and were treated to an hour and a half of 8 or 9 people doing advanced postures. I have done advanced class several times in Bend and took an advanced seminar with Jason Winn, so I am familiar with the postures. All of them are difficult and some of them are possible only if you are strong and flexible on the Cirque du Soleil level! Bikram and Emmy were part of the demonstration. "Yellow" (her nickname) and Esak were the two super humans in the group, demonstrating postures with perfection that looked completely impossible. However, I must say that I am prejudiced here, but Emmy was the stand out.....hands down. Now, this woman is somewhere in her 80s ~ probably mid-80s ~ and she was doing things that the vast majority of 25 year olds in this country can't even think of doing. Splits, backbends, putting her foot behind her head, headstands, etc. She is ABSOLUTELY my idol and role model. I mean she is old enough to be MY mother even! I am going to be just like her when I'm her age ~ only taller ~ she's a tiny one. What an inspiration! That night we were treated (!) to a ranting, rambling 4 hour Bikram lecture. How can anyone talk for 4 hours???!!!!! To be fair, the first hour was clear and interesting but, alas, he digressed!
Friday, however, was truly magnificent! Not only did I get to have over 300 people singing happy birthday to me, but everyone was jubilant because it was the last official day of training and we only had TWO MORE CLASSES!!
Rajashree taught the morning class and it was a really good one. Bikram taught the last one and he took it kind of easy on us, which we couldn't believe. When it was time for final Savasana, everyone went crazy! Bikram always plays this cheesy disco song that he recorded after his classes are over, so he played it as we were lying in final Savasana. People started going nuts, getting up, singing and dancing, crying and hugging (sweaty bodies and all!) I remember looking for Sheila, since she has been my closest companion throughout this thing, and when I found her, we hugged and sobbed for a long time. What a celebration! Amazing!
At 9:00, we had the talent show and I enjoyed every minute of it! It didn't end until 1:30, but it was OK cause everyone was just so happy that this whole thing is finally over! There are some really talented people here. I especially enjoyed the "Saturday Night Live" type skit of two girls who meet for lunch a year after training and still display their "teacher training mentality". It was a riot. One of those things that "you had to be there" to get it.
I woke up at 8:00 this morning (I guess I'm not needing as much sleep as I used to) and my plans are to pack and go to graduation. That's it! Graduation is at 4:00 PM.
My flight leaves tomorrow at 12:15 PM. I'm meeting Kate (from Houston) and Erin (from Chicago) so we can share a cab because they are on my flight from Acapulco to Mexico City.
Thanks so much to all of you who have been emailing me and sending positive comments to me via the blog. You have no idea how much help and support you have been.
So now I go home and teach this remarkable yoga. I know my teaching career will be a journey just like the training, but I'm so looking forward to getting started with it. Nervous, but mostly excited to share all the knowledge I have gained with everyone that I can share it with.
I'm sure I will do a lot of reflection on this experience, but for now I can say that I feel such a personal growth from this. I have faced my strengths as well as my weaknesses and I plan to go out and use my strengths and try my best to work on my weaknesses and become a really great teacher someday. I know that throughout history, it's been the duty of the old to teach the young. I want to be a part of that, but I also want to revise it a bit. I want to teach the young how to never grow old!
I'll probably do this blog through my first few classes in case you're interested in seeing how things go. After that, I'll close it and start a new one when I get on with my next adventure in life, whatever that may be!
Oh, and when I get to Salt Lake City, after my flight from Mexico City, I might get out of the plane, down on my knees and kiss the ground of the good old USA!!!
Thanks for the beautiful birthday wishes and to Christen, my birthday sister, I hope yours was as great as mine was!
Love to all............

Week 9 Is Finally Here!

Whew! I kinda thought week 8 might be an easy deal but, of course, it was as full of intensity as the rest of them. First news is that Sheila is back! Believe it or not! She said she got back to Canada and felt fine. I guess anxiety played a large part in her illness. She seemed to think that the two classes a day were hazardous to her health because of her pre-disposed stomach problems. Whatever the reason, she spoke with Bikram and he told her to "get her lazy ass back here and finish the training!" That's Bikram, not one to spare words. She got back at 11:00 PM on Thursday. I came in from lecture around midnight and she was all settled in. As much as I enjoyed the private room for a few days, it's good to have her back! The other news of the week, the bad news for me, was that I was robbed this morning at Starbucks. Clemma and I went to do our usual Saturday shopping thing and we went to Starbucks for an iced coffee drink beforehand. I didn't realize what happened to me until I saw it so clearly in retrospect. I had my purse on the chair next to me and it was unzipped. A man, who was dressed as a businessman, came over to us and was speaking rapidly in Spanish and pointing to his Blackberry. We were looking at it and trying to understand what he was saying. Shortly after, another man came up and started doing the same thing. Apparently, while we were distracted by the first guy, the other one was sticking his hand down my purse and lifting my wallet. It wasn't until we got up and started walking toward the grocery store that I realized my purse felt awfully light. A few moments of panic, and then the realization. I really felt violated. I've never been robbed before. I knew that I had to get back to the hotel to call John because he is the master of these situations. When we got back, I called him and he immediately contacted all my credit card people and had the cards closed. It was such a relief. Luckily, my driver's license expires on Friday anyway, so it doesn't matter. I hate going to the DMV, but I was going to have to go anyway. So, other than those two monumental events, here is how the week went:

Oh, and before I start, Susie, you are a lucky woman if you go to training in the spring. Bikram announced last night that Spring 09 training will be in Palm Desert at the Marriott resort. While, Acapulco is a very exotic location, the communication from the US will be so much easier for you guys. Just being able to use your cell phone will be a huge bonus.

Monday, Bikram was back so we had his class that night. He kicked our butts and I worked hard as hell. He did the same on Tuesday and by Wednesday I was starting to get sore. Three Bikram classes in three days can kill you. Let me tell you, he can really make you work like a dog. He screams and yells and dares people to leave the room.

He lectured every night this week and his release times varied from 12:30 AM to 2:30 AM. I believe he loves the sound of his own voice. He can be as entertaining as any comedian I've seen and he can also drive you nuts with his rambling tirades. I'll give him this though, on Tuesday night, he gave us the night off for the election. We can thank Kathryn for this. She had been working on the Obama campaign before she came to training, so Monday night, she stood up and asked him if we could have some time to watch the election results. He then went on a ranting, raving tirade of how stupid these "assholes" of the last 8 years have been, and how the country is in the toilet because of them, etc. on and on. Apparently, he is an Obama guy. At any rate, we got the night off and I watched the election up until I knew Obama was going to win and then fell asleep. Of course, I'm thrilled, relieved and delighted that he won. Finally, no more of this freakin' regime that has been in power for the past 8 long years. I believe he has a vision that is on a level beyond other politicians and that he will be able to lift us up from this black hole we are in. It will take years to undo the damage, but it will happen.

OK, no more politics cause that's a dangerous subject when you have friends and loved ones who read your blog and are not so liberal as I am!

So that was Tuesday. On Wednesday night Bikram kept us up until 1:00 AM. We did our usual morning class and then for the evening class, we had a teacher from Australia. We were all shocked and secretly happy that it wasn't Bikram who would have tried to kill us again! After that class was over and everyone was lying in Savasana (the resting pose), exhausted as usual after our second class of the day, Manali said she had a surprise for us and to stay in Savasana.

Well, we just laid there like a bunch of dead dogs and we heard, "check, check, 1, 2, 3, 4", Bikram's signature entrance when he comes in to teach. Yeah, you guessed it, it was our third class for the day! Surprise, surprise. You wouldn't believe the reactions from people. There was disbelief, anger, shock, tears, lots of human emotions. We stood up to do the initial breathing exercise where you have your hands interlocked underneath your chin and you raise your elbows as you inhale. I couldn't get my elbows to go up! I was so tired from the class I just finished. It wasn't just me because EVERYONE else in the room had the same problem. People were swaying back and forth. Bikram was laughing and saying we all looked like dead meat! To shorten this story, I started out very weak but I gained momentum as the class went on and I did almost all the postures and never had to leave the room. People were running out in a mass exodus to get more water, others were fainting, throwing up, having to be carried out.....it reminded me of the first week! Bikram said that this was a test of how you handle adverse conditions that are handed you in life. I was happy to know that my way was to resist in the beginning, but eventually, resign myself and just do the best I could. One guy who is a former Navy Seal was dry heaving in Balancing Stick. Now that's determination! Bikram wasn't through with us because later, at lecture, he kept us up until 2:30 in the morning. We were all so tired, it was unbelievable. Then, of course, we got 4 hours of sleep and it was morning and time for another class. And I thought the 8th week was going to be easy! The fun never stops here. I am sore in places I never thought existed. It's a good soreness, though. I know I have reached new depths in my body. My practice is stronger in some areas, but in other areas, I have had to step back a little and learn some techniques that I didn't know about before. I might not be able to kick as high in Standing Bow, but I am much stronger in it so I know that eventually, I'll be able to kick higher than before.

For daytime lectures, Bikram has been going through each of the postures and explaining them fully. He has people come up on the stage and he adjusts them in the proper alignment. This information is invaluable since he is the guy that designed this series of postures, and he knows more about the alignment than anyone I've ever seen. I can't tell you how much deeper my understanding of the postures has become after this training. After practicing regularly for 4 and 1/2 years, I thought I knew all about the alignment before I came here. Not. It's been quite an education.

We have also had quite a few teachers come up and tell their stories of their first class. Some are nightmares, and most are not pretty. I'm only expecting to live through it and to finish in as close to 90 minutes as I possibly can. To those of you who are going to be there, please don't expect much. That way, I won't feel pressured. If I can get you in and out of all the postures, it will be a success in my book! They say it takes around 6 months of teaching to start feeling comfortable with it and to be able to bring your personality into the whole thing. Michael said my first class is scheduled for 11:00 AM on Wednesday, November 19th. At first, he said 9:00 AM but he changed it.

Well, it's Sunday morning and I thought I'd get my blog published yesterday, but Sheila and I were sitting on the floor in the hallway (the only way you can get online) last evening, typing away on our blogs when Clemma walked over to us and asked us if we wanted to go out to dinner in Acapulco at a restaurant where you can watch the cliff divers.
She offered to front me the money for the evening since I am destitute at this point without my wallet. As tired as I was, it sounded like a great idea at the time. Sheila and I both wanted to go, so Clemma, Sheila, Dawn, Sandra and myself took a cab into town for a little evening adventure. The restaurant was beautifully situated on a cliff side and the view of the divers was perfect. It was all lit up and very dramatic. We watched a few divers and it's pretty amazing since they dive from 110 feet into 14' deep water. I loved watching them climb up the rock face to get to the platform. It was wet and slippery looking and it was probably a 5.7 or so (for those who understand climbing ratings), so it was almost as impressive as the diving! The food was mediocre but, as usual, we had a long, fascinating conversation. Dawn is a forensic psychologist from Portland and Sandra lives in Phoenix and hopes to open her own Bikram studio in 6 months. We had lots of fun gossiping about all the teachers and other trainees! We got back around 10:30 and hit the bed for our long, Saturday night slumber. Sheila and I both woke up around 9:00 AM feeling like new souls. I had weird dreams that consisted of me spouting strange versions of the dialogue.
So once again, it's Sunday and I have a whole day to do whatever I want. I'm looking forward to this last week because the teachers have been telling us that it will be filled with fun things. Oh, I truly hope they aren't setting us up! I don't completely trust them. It's my last Sunday in Acapulco however, so I am starting the countdown until I finally leave for the good ol' USA!!!
I will try to post an entry next Saturday. We aren't having a class (only 10 more classes to go!), so I might have some time. The graduation ceremony is Saturday evening. Can you believe it??!! I'll be a certified Bikram yoga teacher in less than a week!!! Without a doubt, the most difficult process I've ever been through in my life but I feel very strongly that it will pay off with huge rewards when I'm settled into a regular teaching schedule. I wasn't even sure when I started this process that I would really enjoy teaching this yoga, but I am convinced now that it will be the best decision I've made in a long time. Here is one of the reasons that I feel good about this. Gayle, who is a good friend from the Bend studio and my adopted sister (since people are always getting us confused with each other), sent me an email and PLEASE forgive me Gayle, but I wanted everyone to see what you said:
"Betty and I will be sure and mark our calendars for 11:00am on the 19th. Have no fear about teaching your first class. We are all so happy for you and find it amazing that you took time out of your life to become a Bikram Instructor. You could stand up on the podium and do nothing and your fans would still cheer you on. We are all your friends and want nothing but the best for you."
Now THAT's what I'm talkin' about! I love those guys at BYB!
Until graduation............

Week 7 Is Gone

Week 7. Well, that's one I'll remember. Just when I think it can't get any wilder, crazier and off the map, it does.

Going back to Monday, if I can. All the days and weeks seem to meld into one long 50-50, equal and simultaneously arduous and ecstatic trip. Monday and Tuesday were hell because we had posture clinics both in the afternoons and evenings. Let me reiterate on the posture clinics. The afternoon one is 4 and a half hours long and the evening one is twos hours long (from 9 to 11 PM). The whole time is anxiety filled because we have to stand up and recite a posture in front of 30 or so people, plus the 3 or 4 proctors who are writing things down as you speak. They are judging your dialogue, posture, command, loudness, enunciation, clarity, levity, energy, etc., ad nauseum. It causes such pressure because you are trying your best and having to remember to incorporate everything into one 4 minute session is very stressful. I remember when I was learning to play tennis and I had to remember to keep my eye on the ball, bend from the knees not the waist, get my racket back, position myself on the court strategically, determine where I was going to hit the ball before I made the shot, etc. After a while, of course, it was all second nature, but in the beginning you had to consciously remember these things. The other issue is that the posture clinic instructors are all different. Some expect perfect dialogue, others are more interested in energy, others in whether you smile or not. It just makes it more difficult because you really don't know what they are going to be looking for, so you have to try for the whole package.

I'm trying to get across the fact that these dialogue clinics ARE VERY STRESS INDUCING!! So, having had two days full of them along with our two yoga practices a day, we were exhausted souls by Wednesday. To add to all this, Sheila's health had gone south to the point where she was vomiting all her food and water and had to go down for another IV. She ended up in a Mexican hospital where they put a tube down her esophagus and looked into her tummy. She has a hietal hernia, along with severe gastritis (pardon my medical spelling, because I have no idea). Long story short, I came back from class on Thursday morning and she was sitting in the floor, holding a barf bag, looking pitifully up at me and saying, "Carol, I don't think I can do this any more." I took her to the infirmary and the doc said he thought she should go back to Canada to get medical attention. After all, it's free for her in Canada and in Mexico she didn't know what it would cost. Also, the medical hospitals in Canada are superior.

She resigned herself, Rusto came over and we spent the last night in the room, me, Sheila and Rusto with Sheila hooked up to an IV so she'd have the strength to go home the next day. So she left. That's it. She's gone. It was astounding that she made it this long. Six and a half weeks. We are hoping that she'll be able to come back to spring training and just do the last month in order to graduate. Bikram has to make that decision though. He's coming back tonight.

OK, that being said, the stress of Sheila being sick on top of the two days of posture clinics were taking their toll. I can't explain how challenging it is to be going through this and having this downer of a roommate situation. My maternal instincts are strong and I was trying to take care of her and worrying about her while still trying to maintain my place in this really tough program.

Interestingly enough, my yoga classes last week (we've done 76 now!) were all really good. I felt strong and did all the postures with gusto. Maybe the yoga was my release. My posture clinic dialogue presentations were lackluster however. Ivan, who is from the Czech Republic and in my group, came over to me and said "You need a massage". He said he could see a black cloud around my neck and shoulders and I that I seem to be carrying incredible tension there. Later, someone else in my group said that he told another woman, who was having stomach pains, that she had some problem in her ovaries. When she checked it out, she found out that she had ovarian cysts. Hmmmmmm.....well, I've never been much of a believer in "woo woo" stuff, as John calls it, but I am now convinced that some people have a really well developed sixth sense. How the hell would he have seen that in me otherwise? I am going to get my massage this afternoon. I saw Ivan again on Saturday, after Sheila left, and he smiled and said, "What happened? Your cloud is gone."

Yes, my cloud was lifted and, of course, I miss Sheila a lot but I am a new person. My old energy is back and I am having fun again. I am also enjoying the private room after having a week of doctors, nurses and staff members parading in and out of it.

Going back to early in the week. After two days of high stress, we had the joy and privilege (it doesn't take much to elate us these days) of Jon Burras who is known as the "fascia guy". He gave a total of four lectures on the power of attraction and fascia.

He's a really interesting speaker. A yoga teacher (ironically, not Bikram) from southern California. One of his lectures was on the power of attraction. A theory that basically says you get what you focus on or what you truly believe is reality. I really believe in this because I have inadvertently practiced this for most of my adult life. At least, since around age 35 or so. I felt he went a little too far with this but, for the most part, he was right on. I think that's the case with a lot of these people. They have outstanding concepts that can be carried to extreme, but if you take the concept and stop at a reasonable place, it is really valuable information.

The fascia thing is another story. It's an area that medical science is just starting to understand. The tissue that surrounds, muscles, organs, ligaments, tendons, etc. ~ the fascia, is what can be changed and developed and allow you to regain flexibility, strength and function of your entire body. When the fascia is dried up and of of whack, you are stuck. He says that yoga is the only way to work on your fascia. There was a whole lot more to his hours of discussion, of course, but if you want to know more his web site is jonburras.com.

On Friday evening, Halloween, everyone wore orange and back yoga outfits to class. Some people wore makeshift costumes. One guy wrapped toilet paper all over himself and came as a mummy. He posed for pictures in Half Moon. A riot! It was fun and festive and we were hoping for the night off but alas, not in the cards. We should have focused more on that expectation!

It ended up being a great night though because Lynn Whitlow did a lecture on the business end of teaching and opening a studio. She is an interesting speaker and her talk was filled with really helpful information. We all came to lecture in costumes. Well, most of us. People had gone "all out" and bought costumes. I didn't have one, but I have always been pretty good in the creativity department (self back-patting visual), so I took and long, dark shawl that I bought on my Zara shopping trip and wrapped it around my head, leaving only a slit for my eyes. I wore black flowy yoga pants and a long black tunic top. I went to Clemma's room and knocked on the door, when she answered I said "trick or treat". She squealed cause she didn't recognize me. When I went in, she was lamenting that she had no costume. It turned out that she had a Zara shawl also, as did her roommate Brit from Norway. I wrapped their shawls for them just like mine and we all three huddled together as a group of women in burkas. Under those burkas, we are all blue eyed blondes, but who knew?! We were a huge hit! Everyone wanted pictures with us. It was especially fun being anonymous and seeing everyone's surprise when they discovered who we were. After the lecture, Manali did another of her amazing chants. He voice is so beautiful and she sits on the stage peacefully while chanting a beautiful Indian poem. We all sit there nodding off.

The other noteworthy event this week was the arrival of Ren, teacher from LA. He is HILARIOUS! He flaunts his gayness with pride and it's beautiful to see! He talked a little on Thursday night when he arrived. He was a hairdresser with clients like Meg Ryan and he gave up this lucrative career to teach Bikram. He told of his meeting with Bikram and how he just wants to teach in LA and never own a studio. He just loves teaching. He said, "If you see me swishing around the lobby somewhere, just stop and say Hi!" Adorable. His class Thursday night was the most fun we've had yet. He talks exactly like Dana Carvey's Franck Eggelhoffer (Fronk), the wedding planner, in Father of the Bride. He said at one point in the class to a trainee, "LOVE your tan, is it natural?" I love this guy.

OK, I think that about covers week 7. Last night, Clemma, Tom, Kathryn and myself went out to Zibu for a night away from the compound. It is a very pricey ($70 each without drinks) restaurant but worth every penny. The food was Mexican Thai and it was DIVINE!!! We had such a great evening. Great food, great company.....all the makings. Clemma is a GP physician from Minnesota, Tom is a retired Oncologist from Portland and Kathryn is a writer and professor from New York City. And, of course, me the retired Interior Designer, and current owner and operator of a rock climbing guide service and retail rock shop! We are all well over 50 and we called it a night with the "grownups". We sat for hours and talked (with no wine mind you) and it was glorious! I can't wait to hook up with all of these people after training.

The proverbial shitola will hit the fan this week because the Boss is back. Who knows what we are in store for. At least I can say without hesitation that I'm ready for whatever they dish out!

I plan to study this afternoon for Spinal Twist, the "final spinal" posture. No more to memorize after that! I just have to go back and review them all later a zillion times! Then, a massage, then to bed. I'm excited about tomorrow cause I always love Monday yoga classes. I am renewed and revitalized and ready for more. Also, on Mondays our group practices on lines 1, 2 and 3 which are in the front of the room so you can actually see yourself in the mirror. That's a rare treat with 300 people in the room. It helps your focus and balance.

I saved the final news for last. Michael told me that he scheduled me to teach my first class on Wednesday, November the 19th! OMG, I'm actually going to teach! I know there will be a ton of people in the room because he scheduled me for the 9:00 AM class. That's always a busy class, but I suspect that my buddies from that class will all want to be there (I hope so anyway), so the room might be full. I guess it doesn't matter if there are 10 or 50 people, it's still the same. As long as I'm surrounded by my teacher friends and class friends (remember our "camel toe" idea girls), I'm sure I'll survive the class. Actually, I'm not nearly as nervous as I was when I thought about teaching before I went to training. Don't get me wrong, I'm nervous, just a little less so. I feel somewhat empowered by all the dialogue that I've learned. If I can just get it out!!! Whatever happens, I know I will have all of your support.

My love and don't love list for this week:

Love:
The yoga
Ren
Zibu
Monday classes
My new private room
Jon Burras lectures
Lynn Whitlow
The incredible growth and development I've experienced
Only one more dialogue to learn
The fact that I'm scheduled to teach and I'm not dry heaving and
breaking out in a rash with anxiety
The exciting news that I talked to John today and he was on his way to the 9:30 class!

Don't loves:
My private room with no Sheila
The creepy new rashes that break out periodically from three hours a day practicing in a hot, humid, petri dish yoga room with over 300 people.
Rude people in the yoga room. Hard to believe some of these folks are going to be teachers since they are clueless as to the existance of others. Most are great, mind you.

OK, I'm signing off for this week. Until next weekend everyone ~

Where Did Sunday Go??

Suddenly it's Sunday evening and I don't understand where the day went. I went down to brunch this morning and the Veranda was closed. To catch you up, we have a brunch buffet every day in the Chula Vista restaurant. By Friday we are sick of the food there so it's nice to have the Veranda available on weekends. It's similar but has slightly different food and linen tablecloths. Well, this morning the Veranda was closed. Big bummer! I went to the Chula Vista, met up with Clemma, my new friend, and proceeded to go through the buffet line filling my plate with lunch stuff, since they didn't have pancakes and smoked salmon, my favorite weekend meal at the Veranda. I sat down, took a bite and couldn't deal. I'm not so good at eating real food for breakfast. It usually has to be specifically breakfast food for me. I dumped the plate, went back and got some fruit, yogurt and some bread. Better than nothing. This food thing is a real issue here.
Last night's party was good. The food was great and it was a beautiful evening on the beach. There were fireworks and marshmallows being toasted over a hug bonfire. Clemma and I left around 9:00. When I came back to the room, Sheila wasn't there. I went to bed assuming that she was out for a walk. As time passed and I was nodding off, I had this realization that she might be in the infirmary since she was complaining about stomach pains earlier. I got dressed and walked down to there and there she was. She was lying there on the exam table all curled up and looking miserable. She seemed to be in good hands so I went back to bed. I heard her come in, very vaguely, around midnight and when I woke up this morning, she was gone again.
I went down to the infirmary again and she was hooked up to an IV. Poor kid, she has been through hell with her stomach. Rusto, her boyfriend, showed up around noon and I had to take him in to see her. He took care of her the rest of the day.
I met Clemma on the beach around 1:00 PM and we studied on the beach and learned most of Head to Knee with Stretching post. It is a really tough one. Later, I came back to the room and hammered out Half Tortoise and got Camel fairly well in the old bean. That means, I only have Rabbit and Final Spinal to do. I feel good about what I got done, but I wish I had done more because I have a feeling we are going to finish up with dialogue this week. Five hours of studying is as much as I think I have in me today.
I found out that Bikram isn't coming back until the Monday after Halloween. That is good news. It means we get sleep this week.
OK, I'm going to start a continuing list of things that I love and things that I don't:
Loves:
Sheila
A handful of new friends that have become really close: Clemma, Dawn, Vickie and Carolyn come to mind first
Doing the yoga
Being in Acapulco when it's colder than hell in Bend
Trying to speak Spanish
Learning the reality of the mind-body connection ~ first hand experience
Doing the yoga
Meeting people from all over the world who become instant family
Putting myself "out there" and dealing with the consequences ~ some good, some bad
Doing the yoga
Going to new places in my postures
The "good guy" posture clinic instructors

Don't loves:
The humidity
The food
This damned hotel, with its damned Mariachi band
The lack of internet in my room
The lack of phone communication, other than the half-assed Skype
The "bad guy" posture clinic instructors
Missing friends and family

I might continue this since it lets me get everything out, good and bad. As long as the good outweighs the bad, I guess I'm still OK!
Love to all and I'll let you know on Saturday how this week goes. Wish me luck!

Week 6 ~ In The Past!

It's really hard to believe we are starting week 7! It still seems like we have another lifetime to go, but 3 weeks sounds OK to me.
This week can only be characterized by the arrival of Rajashree (Bikram's wife). She floated into our world like Glenda the good witch of the north (from the Wizard of Oz) in a giant pink bubble, waved her magic wand and all was well. We were all stressed to the max after last week's excessive number of posture clinics. Her classes are soothing and calming. Not easy, mind you, but not aggro. Just really perfect. We had lectures and posture discussions all week. I actually only performed 3 postures last week ~ a far cry from the week before. We spent two afternoon sessions going over each posture. The trainees would come up to the stage and she would discuss the posture and give her assessment and corrections. It was extremely educational and we got invaluable information for use in teaching. For some reason, however, it seemed that everyone was extremely tired. Even though it was a much easier week overall than the past few weeks. We got to bed by 11:30 every night. Seven and 1/2 hours sleep is a major luxury here! I think the tiredness was a result of the cumulative effect of the whole training. We all made it through though with 11 more classes under our belts. We have now had 65 classes! Wow! I told John this morning, on the phone, that it seems like doing two classes a day has become a part of life. Get up, brush your teeth, go to class, etc. Of course, when I get home, I might sleep for two days, I don't know!
I think things will heat up again next week because Bikram is coming back into town and Rajashree left yesterday. That means those 2:00 AM bedtimes. Sandra, you asked me what he talks about until 2:00 in the morning. "You have no idea" (said with thick Indian accent) is the only way I can describe it. He says that all the time. He was right when he said that to us in the beginning of training. We definitely had NO IDEA! He talks about life in general, yoga philosophy, etc., all peppered with those outrageous stories of his. I have never heard anyone that can tell a story like him. Half the time you are laughing so hard you can't breathe! Also, you wanted to know how you stay awake. Believe me, plenty of people don't. They have to keep rousting people from sleep because Bikram considers it very rude when people fall asleep when he's lecturing (I suppose that's a reasonable assessment), so the teacher assistants go around waking them up. Also, I've never known anyone who can talk for four solid hours and seem to be just getting warmed up. He is an amazing human being. His genius is only exceeded by his wackiness!
Oh, and your other comment, San, was that I need to eat to keep up my health. Well, I am doing that but believe me, it's not easy. I am never hungry. I only eat because I have to eat for energy and strength. It's not just me though. Everyone says the same thing. Doing so much yoga just does that to you. I am eating when I need to eat and that's about it. I am also craving strange stuff that I haven't eaten in 30 years, like Cokes and potato chips. I just eat them when I crave them and I don't worry about it. Basically, I'm feeding my body what it craves. I also crave fish, vegetables and rice so it's not all junk food. It's a really interesting process because I got a sore throat last week and in each class I would lose tons of mucous (sorry) until finally after three days the whole thing was out of my system. I've never seen anything like it!

Michael showed a video of a news show on KOHD in Bend. It was an interview with Rajashree when she was there doing a seminar. I was sooooo homesick watching it. I got a glimpse of my wonderful teacher and friend Tricia. I almost cried! Also, it featured a lot of shots of Kathy doing some of her perfect postures. She looked so beautiful and graceful. I wanted to be there and give her a hug. I was looking for others in the crowd that I might recognize. I saw Jerry Lopez but I couldn't pick out anyone else.
I am getting ready to start memorizing Half Tortoise Pose. I have memorized 20 so far and I have 5 more to go. We aren't going to perform Final Breathing, I don't think. Rumor has it that Bikram is going to do the breathing exercises with us separately. Not in posture clinic, that is.
It's kind of scary to think what might be in store for us in the next 3 weeks, so I guess I'll just relax and take it one day at a time. Tonight the hotel is throwing a barbeque for us at 7:00 PM. I'm going to go for a short while, but as usual, I want to do my Saturday night Rip Van Winkle imitation.
I'm going to go to Mega for supplies, then come back to the room for a rest before the party tonight. So I guess I'll end for now. Hopefully, I can do a Sunday evening post tomorrow. If not, I'll be back next week. Bye for now!

Week 5, Terminado

Here is a photo of all the women over 50 in training! Super girls! I love them all.

The weeks go by fast here because we get up in the morning and go to yoga class, then we have lunch and practice our dialogue. Next it's posture clinic for 3 hours, then yoga class again. Afterwards, it's dinner and practice our dialogue. Then it's 9:00 and time for lecture or another posture clinic until 11:00 PM. When Bikram lectures, of course, it is anywhere from 12:00 t0 2:30 AM. Weekends are the only time I have to stop and think where I am, what day it is, what month it is, etc.

As for week 5, "it was the best of times, it was the worst of times", to quote Dickens. A roller coaster ride is the analogy that comes to mind.

Monday started out with Michael Harris, my studio owner arriving in town. He stood up to introduce himself to all the trainees on Monday night at the lecture hall. He then proceeded to introduce me as the only trainee from Bend. He went on to say that I was a rock climber, owner of the premier rock climbing shop and guide service at Smith Rock. He also said that he wouldn't be doing the yoga today if it weren't for me. He said I was his inspiration, at 63 years of age and still climbing and doing Bikram yoga regularly. Wow!! That felt really good. I really wasn't expecting that from Michael. He's not one to express himself as to where you stand with him. I wasn't sure. At the same time, I'm glad to know, that his opinion of me is positive.

OK, well that was Monday. Tuesday, he taught the evening class and what a class it was!! It was full of fun and energy and everyone here is in love with him. Now for the really interesting part. Picture the yoga studio....I can't even guess as to how big it is, but it comfortably holds over 300 people. The podium is about 15 feet off the floor. We had just finished Awkward when Michael said, "Carol, come up here please." Well, you can imagine my state of panic and sheer terror when he said that! I thought he wanted to show everyone what not to do in Awkward, because my Awkward is so bad! I went up there and he took his Madonna style head mike off and put it on my head. He said, "Do Eagle, right side". I didn't have time to totally freak out, I instantly knew that I had no choice. As Bikram says, "Lock the knee, no choice!!!!" Michael left me up there by myself and there I was with my mike on looking over a sea of over 300 people looking up at me. I have no idea what came over me, but I just said, "Arms over your head sideways (the beginning of the dialogue for Eagle) and when everyone brought their arms up, it was such a feeling of, well, a combination of power and total adrenalization (is that a word?!), that I just kept going. The dialogue came out and I have no idea where it came from. It just came. At the end, when I said "change", I had a rush of adrenaline like I had just climbed to the top of a grueling 5.10 crack at Yosemite Valley! I wasn't myself again until the standing series was over!

People came up to me for days congratulating me and I felt so good. They said I was up there doing it from them. "One of us, up there teaching." It was truly an amazing experience. Yeah, it was and I thanked Michael for giving me that opportunity, although if he had asked me I would have said, "Absolutely NO!!!!!" As it turned out, I didn't have time to even think what was happening, let alone to get nervous.

But, as it goes in teacher training from hell, the next day I blanked in Tree Pose at posture clinic. That was my first experience blanking. It really sucks. You are up there doing your best with teachers grading you and everyone watching and you blow it. After I blanked and finally remembered where I was in the dialogue, the rest of Tree and the whole of Toe Stand was pathetic. I never regained my confidence. I got a mediocre review and for the rest of the day I was feeling down and frustrated. That's what I mean by the roller coaster ride. Kimberly, I'm wondering if this might have been a "psychosomatic sympathy connection" with you because you told me about your experience blanking on Tree Pose!! Whatever, it was good in the end because I got shot down and I believe you need to get shot down occasionally in order to learn from it. I have tried ever since to really concentrate on the pose and what they are doing in the pose so I don't get lost. It really helps to go through the body parts as you are telling them what to do with with each body part one at a time.

Friday was another story. We were working on Cobra for Friday. Well, I figured that I'd coast through afternoon posture clinic and deliver Cobra on Friday night since I barely had it memorized. Sooooo, at lunch some of my fellow trainees were saying that we would probably get through Cobra at the afternoon clinic. I got really stressed about it, knowing that I'd have to memorize Cobra completely in about one hour, that is if I skipped lunch. I didn't want to skip lunch since you really need food to keep you going here. I filled my plate at the buffet and took two bites and that was it. I couldn't even force myself to eat cause I was so nervous. Bad move. Sheila and I went outside to practice Cobra and we did it for each other a few times. Needless to say, I wasn't prepared in class but I went up there and actually got through the posture. Not bad. I got a pretty good review and it was over. Since we go directly from posture clinic to afternoon yoga class, I had a really tough class and nearly blacked out on my way out of the room afterwards. A direct result of having no food for lunch. The saga continues........Friday night at posture clinic, I knew I could coast and wait until Monday to do Locust. When I got to posture clinic, everyone was telling me that they weren't ready for Locust......YIKES!!! That meant that I'd better learn it because if nobody volunteers, they call you up. About 3 people (the rock stars) did Locust and the rest of us were all sitting there like deer in the headlights, hoping beyond hope that our names weren't called. First they called David Ryan, a guy from New York. David went up timidly and actually did a really good job even thought he didn't really know the dialogue too well. The whole time this is going on, I'm trying to memorize the lines as people did them. Thank goodness I did because they called me next! BAM! Just like that. Same as when Michael called me up to the podium, only difference being that I knew the dialogue for Eagle. I told them that I didn't know the dialogue very well, I had only started learning it that evening but I'd do the best I can. He asked me how long I'd been practicing and I said 4 and 1/2 years. He said to just deliver the posture the way I remember having been told how to do it in class for all this time. That really clicked, so I channeled my inner Tricia, Kate, Michael, Delana, Molly, (my homies) and of course, Kimberly and just went with it. I got the best review I've had yet!!! Knock me over with a feather. They said I sounded like I really knew the dialogue. Well, I guess I can learn a lesson from that whole experience. I was really lucky that time, but I'd better stop figuring that I won't have to do a posture in posture clinic. I have to go into posture clinic ready to do whatever posture they ask for. Also, now I have to go back and memorize Locust because I want to know it when I'm actually teaching. That would truly suck to have to teach it when the dialogue isn't in my hard drive. I'm realizing what a great tool the dialogue is.

Saturday, glorious Saturday. Mark taught the class and he is so cool it's beyond belief. He is great in posture clinic too. He made us laugh, the temp wasn't too hot and he didn't push us too hard. Perfect for a Saturday. Afterwards Clemma, Vickie, Patty, Denise and I all went "off campus" and into Acapulco to shop at Zarra. This is a store that has great clothing for cheap prices. I'd never heard of it. Anyway, our cabbie was named Tao and he spoke very little English. I am feeling so much better about my Spanish here. I'm able to communicate so much more than I could before. I think it's just being immersed that helps. I think if I lived here for 6 or 8 months, I could get up to the level of a 5 year old speaking English. Right now, I'm about age 2 or 3. I can communicate but very basically. I was the only one in the cab that spoke ANY Spanish at all, so I had to tell him where to take us and all that. It was really fun! Zarra was a blast! Just the girls out shopping. Such a nice change from yoga camp. I spent $100 and got 6 items. Unreal! It's nice to have some new stuff to wear to posture clinic. I'm really sick of my same old stuff. I know it will be a morale booster!

Afterwards, we went to Mega to stock up on basics and back to the hotel. Sheila's boyfriend, Rusto, is here and they got another room. I had the night to myself and went to sleep at about 9:00 after a delicious room service meal.

This morning I had brunch with Clemma, Rennet and Lindsay. They're all from Minneapolis. I really love the people I've met here. It's so nice to have each other for support.

It's now 6:30 and I have been studying since 1:00 PM. It's just what I have to do, rest day or not. I ordered room service again....just because. I hope everyone is doing well. I miss everyone in the "real world"!

It's on to week 6!

Beautiful Sunday

Here is Lucky #13, our group! That's me top center in the red shirt with my arms flying,

in case you can't tell. It's a little fuzzy.

Sundays are definitely my favorite days. Hands down. I slept 11 hours and woke up at 10:45 AM! Body talking to me. I felt like a million bucks and went down to brunch. I met up with Denise from New York and Walter from B.C. They are favorites. We had a terrific breakfast and then I went for my massage and pedicure. OOOOOOOOhhh boy the massage was expensive but I think I would have given my last dime for the hour with Victor. He was so strong, and he DUG DEEP!!!!! I was a pile of mush when I walked out of that room. The pedicure is essential here because in so many of the postures, for example Padahastasana, Hands to Feet pose, you are staring at your toes. If they're grungy it's not such a good experience. Now I can bend over and admire them with my "smiling happy face" (A Bikramism).

Later I went out to the pool with Sheila and we practiced Triangle til we dropped. I have it really solid in my hard drive now, so I feel pretty good about it. It is one of those postures that hurts like hell if the teacher keeps you in it too long and the dialogue is like a novel. It goes on forever so you have to talk really fast. Some of these New Yorkers are going to rock this one! My southern roots mean that I talk a bit slower, so I have to put it in overdrive.

How great to get a comment from Kimberly, my very first Bikram yoga teacher and still in my "top 3 teachers" list. She's so strong but, at the same time, one of the most compassionate teachers I've had. She's the one I have to thank for introducing me to this practice. I was only 6 weeks out from bi-lateral knee surgery when I took her class and she was so patient with me, helping me get through Fixed Firm, a posture that it murder on the knees at first but really, really good for them. Thanks Kimberly!

I suppose I'll try to go to sleep around 8:30 or 9:00 cause starting tomorrow sleep is going to be hard to come by. Oh, and sorry for the lack of pictures. I just haven't been taking them. No excuses. Jennifer took these two and emailed them to all of us. I promise I'll try to get around to taking some shots. Meanwhile, good night all!

Week 5 Begins

It's so great to get comments from my pals at the Bikram Yoga Bend studio!! Thanks so much guys for your encouragement and I want you to know how much it does for my spirits to hear from you. BYB has the best people on the planet practicing yoga together! Oh, and to Christen, I have solved my phone dilemma with Skype. It is awesome!

Week 4 was a tough one. Lots of highs and lows. Monday, Bikram stormed out of the room right before Camel posture. He said we were lazy and worthless and he didn't want to waste his time anymore (sparing you the expletives). That night he came to lecture and told us that one of the teachers told him that the room is ridiculously humid and had no air. Well, duh, it's been like that for 4 weeks. No wonder people are still passing out and being carried out of class. But thank goodness she told him that because he realized that the air in that room is unbearable since this is the rainy season in Acapulco (humid as hell) and also the studio is in a basement. Honestly there is no air in there. Well, no oxygen. You are breathing carbon dioxide and that's it. He said he had called the engineers that designed the system and they were flying in that night. Well, OK, Bikram exaggerates sometimes. I couldn't picture a bunch of engineers stopping their lives and flying to Mexico to fix a system that has long since been paid for. Being in the business world for nearly 30 years teaches you that that ain't happenin'! But at any rate, thank you Marlin (I hope I'm spelling it right)! She is the teacher from headquarters who told Bikram that she had a hard class because of all the air problems.
She is one of his most senior teachers so he listens to her. OK, so now we have fans all over the room and they open the doors. Now it's like a normal studio and breathing is an option. I thought it was really good that Bikram listened to her and immediately did something about the situation. He never told us that we WEREN'T lazy slobs but at least he took care of the problem!
He taught class again on Thursday evening and he was screaming at us and driving us like I've never been driven before. I had a GREAT class and worked harder than I thought possible. His tough love approach is pretty interesting. Unfortunately, last night he taught again and I had the worst class yet. I think I didn't have enough sugar in my system and I had low blood pressure. I nearly passed out in Triangle, but I'll tell you why I didn't. He told us that he was sick and tired of us lazy, worthless pieces of *!*! ~ "I HATE LAZY PEOPLE!!" he keeps saying. Anyway, he wanted to make a deal with us. If no one left the room and no one sat out a posture we could have the night off!! Let me tell you THAT is some motivation. I wouldn't have quit unless I blacked out. I did every posture (pathetically) and got through the class. Each and every person in there did the same thing. Nobody wanted to be responsible for others losing their night off! I think he proved his point.
As for my posture clinics.........I have been to the depths and to the mountaintop! The first two postures that I presented after learning to find my "loud voice" were a disaster. I was talking loudly but because of that I was forgetting the dialogue. It's so hard to concentrate on everything at once. I was getting feedback like, "Are you having trouble memorizing the dialogue?" Damn, that made me mad because I know the dialogue like the back of my hand. I just said that I will practice more and left it at that. Actually, I did start doing the dialogue with groups of trainees and it helped me on future postures. It's really funny around here because you see yoga trainees everywhere, divided up into groups and practicing the dialogue with 3 or 4 trainees doing the postures. I'm sure that new hotel guests think they've landed in the land of crazy people.
Anyway, when I got to Balancing Stick I found my stride. Of course, Balancing Stick is a posture where you can really blow it out. "Body down, leg up, come down, leg up", and of course at the end "Stretch and stretch and stretch and stretch, stretch, stretch, stretch, stretch!!!!"
I got good reviews and felt 100% better. Yesterday was Standing Separate Leg Stretching (one of my favorite postures) and when I finished the teacher said she would take a class from me anytime. What a great feeling to get such positive feedback. One thing I have learned is that you need to get up and JUST DO your dialogue. If you wait until tons of people have gone before you, it just makes you more and more nervous. Monday we are going to do Triangle and that pose is so long it's unbelievable. It's going to be a tough one. If my feedback is not as good as the past two, I'm not going to worry about it. Just take what they say and work on it. I have found that what they tell you is really good, "spot on" information. These guys know what they're doing.
I have to say a few words about the people here. I am the oldest person in the training, boo hoo!! :( Well, I'm kidding actually. It's kind of cool to be the oldest because I feel like I can be an inspiration for all the young women. I think it's my responsibility to be an example for them, showing them that can keep pushing themselves and growing throughout their lives. "I'm too old" is NO EXCUSE. Jim, from San Diego, one of the many great teachers here, says, "If you argue your limitations, you'll win the argument every time and you'll always have your limitations." Emmy is in her 80s and could be my mother but she is stronger than most of the 30 year olds. Hell, maybe even 20 year olds!
Back to my train of thought... there are at least a dozen of us girls over 50 and they have become my best friends. We are all like minded and fit and really have no concept of how old we actually are!
I hope to be friends with them from here on out.
I'm not saying that only the older women are cool, because I've met so many young people of both genders who are amazing. It's just that common denominator of the yoga that brings us closer. Well, also being in the torture chamber for 9 weeks together. That too.
Well, gotta go to Wally World (sorry, there's no choice here) for supplies and then it's relaxing, reinforcing Triangle in my mind, room service, many hours of sleep and looking forward to happy Sunday.

Sunday Update

I have had a pretty terrific day, although it has been composed of lots of work! Not physical but mental. I ran into a fellow trainee last night that I instantly adored. She is a stage actress, opera singer and teaches voice at Columbia University. She said she was going to be doing some voice coaching in her room today at noon. I went there and discovered how much work I have to do to learn to project. She said I am tensing up and need to relax. Her observation was that I'm trying too hard.....trying to do everything perfectly. There's that perpetual, green monster, perfection, rearing it's ugly head again. She worked with us for two hours (3 of us) and we each came out with the basic concept of projecting through your abdomen and face (who knew??!!) instead of your vocal cords. It's going to take a lot of practice for me, but I know that eventually I'll get it. Also, she emphasized that we move our mouths more when we talk. She said Americans, especially, talk with their mouths barely open and hardly moving.
Later, Sheila and I studied for the Anatomy test tomorrow. Sheila woke up feeling good. That girl is made of steel. She just keeps bouncing back! There's no way she isn't going to make it through this training. The doc said he suspects that she has a hernia or an ulcer!
Later I went down to the beach to buy some sarongs. They are beautiful and colorful and make great cover ups for your yoga clothes when you are walking through the lobby. I got ripped off, of course, because I paid full price and you are supposed to bargain with them. I've never been a good bargainer because I always want to help them out since they make so little money and have families to feed. The old bleeding heart liberal side coming out.
We just ordered room service (again!) and we're going to chill and enjoy the evening. I'm excited to try my dialogue tomorrow and see if I get a little better feedback on the loudness factor. I'm not going to try to be perfect, I'm not going to try to be perfect, I'm not going to try to be perfect..........

Week 3 Complete!

Yay!! Week 3 is over and we are 1/3 of the way through. Hard to believe. We had our 32nd class this morning. Whoddathunk I could ever do that many yoga classes in 3 weeks! One of the senior teachers, Jim, from San Diego said, "Never, ever, ever, ever, underestimate yourself!" Great advice.
Let's see, where do I begin. OK, Monday. I don't even remember that far back, so I'll just do an overview. This week was the last week with Dr. T and the Anatomy lectures. We will be tested on Monday and then it's completely concentrating on posture clinics and learning the dialogue from here on out. I missed one question on the test and was beating myself up for it. Well, gee, I'm not perfect! I'm proud of myself for admitting it here on my blog. I'M NOT PERFECT!!!! My perfectionist ways have caused me a lot of grief in my life. I'm feel like I'm learning to let go of that (I hope). It's so much easier to do the best you can, accept the results and move on. Where did I ever get the idea that I have to excel at everything??!! It causes me to put so much undue pressure on myself! OK, that's my release for the day! My new friend, name withheld, has been crying hysterically during and after each yoga class. On Friday, she was in the fetal position, howling at the top of her voice outside the room. Apparently, she is letting go of tons of pent up emotions. She says she is feeling like a new person.
I took Sheila to the infirmary again today. She started throwing up again this morning. Just when she was getting better. I really hope she can hang in there through all this. I don't want to lose her as a roommate, since she is an ideal one. We lost two more people this week.
So about posture clinics.......We divide up into groups (I'm in lucky 13) and two groups at a time go into separate rooms. You stand up in front and deliver a posture to 3 models. You have senior teachers over in the corner taking notes and when you're finished they give you feedback. So far I have done Backward Bending/Forward Bending, and Awkward pose. I am ready to do Eagle on Monday. It was so amazingly helpful that I memorized all the standing poses before I got here. I wish I had done them all, but I'll take what I can get. The feedback I have gotten is mostly very positive like, you are a natural teacher. One instructor said, "I'd hate to get you mad at me". I like that one. The only negative (they call it homework) I've had is that I'm not loud enough. I have a soft voice naturally so it's hard for me to concentrate on bellowing while I'm trying to do all the other stuff like pay attention to the students, don't screw up the dialogue, what the hell to do with my hands, etc. John suggested that I go online and read up on voice projection. Good idea. I Googled it and there seems to be some good info. The thing is that at my studio we use headsets so I won't have to talk very loud. I suppose they just want you to project. I have to say, it's really scary to get up and perform in front of a room full of people. EVERYONE is scared. Some are shaking visibly! Like I said before though, it's something I want to confront and learn to overcome. The first time with Bikram was terrifying, the second time (in the posture clinics) was a little better but I still had sweaty palms and my heart was thumping out of my chest. The third time was a teeny bit better so I'm really hoping it gets easier and easier. I do notice that once I get up there and get going, I seem to relax and do fine. Some people are frozen and stand there blank. I feel so bad for them. One girl started crying when she finished because she forgot some lines. This is a fascinating study in human nature.
Tonight I'm going to order room service (a weekend treat) and go to sleep early. As usual, on Saturday nights, I plan to sleep as long as possible in la manana. Tomorrow, who knows?? I will do absolutely NOTHING and love every minute of it!!!! Onward to week 4!
Oh, and HAPPY 7TH BIRTHDAY MACON!!!!! (My grandboy!)

Week 2 - Over and Done

I'm laughing because I just read some comments from my family that I hadn't seen before. Kirk, what a great analogy ~ Navy Seals! That's exactly how it feels! Also, what I meant by my computer slowly dying was that I would turn it on, the lights would go on but it wouldn't power up (yes I had the power cord plugged in). It did that for a little while but I think it's OK now. At least it turns on whenever I push the on button. I'm hoping it was just a glitch and everything is A. O. K.
And to Lynda, my beautiful, amazing sister, thanks so much for your supportive words! You're the best!
Let me see, where did I leave off?? What a week this has been! Monday was a teeny bit better for me since I'm starting to get the hang of how to eat, when to eat, how many electrolytes to take, how to pace my twice daily practices, etc. The days have all run together, so I can't really describe the daily slog but let me just say that today has been one of the best days of my life!! I say that only because I appreciate how relaxing, comfortable, non-stressful, on and on and on, it has been. Sunday is truly the day that will get me through the week. What I mean is that I will picture it, hold on to it, keep it fresh in my mind as a goal. Sheila and I slept until about 10:00 AM and went to the buffet breakfast ~ absolutely wonderful. Then, we came back to the room and quizzed each other to prepare for our anatomy test tomorrow. We both have it dialed in. No problema. I went to the spa and had a pedicure and a leg wax. Now THAT'S what I'm talkin' about! I felt like a queen! So, I have the rest of the day to do WHATEVER I want to do!!!! When I finish the blog I'm going down to the beach to buy some of the really cute sarongs they sell. Afterwards, maybe to my room to order room service and go for an early bedtime again. There is no alcohol allowed for these 9 weeks and I'm really glad of it. Otherwise, I might be tempted to go to the beach bar and order a pina colada! The last thing my system needs is alcohol.
The week went something like this: In addition to the 2 classes a day, we attended a daily lecture with Dr. T, a chiropractor with a lot of knowledge about the human anatomy and all the anatomical systems. He would usually lecture for an hour or two. We will have two tests on his lectures, one tomorrow and one next week. Bikram did a couple of his late nighters where he lectured for what seemed an eternity. A couple of nights we got into bed around 12:30AM and one night (his favorite ~ movie night) we didn't get to go to sleep until 2:30AM. That is brutal when you have to wake up at 7:00 and do it all again. Friday night, Emmy, who is 80 something years old, did a posture clinic and it was truly informative and fascinating. She had different people on the stage and was assessing their postures. It was 11:00 PM before I knew it. Emmy is absolutely my idol. She is in her 80s and you would probably say she was in her 60s if you saw her. She teaches (and practices) advanced series and let me tell you, advanced series is HARD. I've done it a few times and it always kicks my butt. Anyway, she is amazingly knowledgeable regarding the yoga and the postures. She says that she is the norm. She is what being in your 80s should be. I love her and I am determined to be in the same shape she is in when I get to be her age.
The other highlight of the week was Lillian Glass, who has a PhD in communication, blah, blah, who knows. Believe me, whatever her advanced degrees are in, it shows. She is an expert on voice projection, communication, stage presence, leadership skills, on and on. She comes into a room like a ball of fire ~ energy bouncing all over the walls. She turns on the crowd in about two seconds and everyone seems jacked up and brimming with electrical current! This is in spite of the fact that we were all exhausted. She had people come up on the stage and introduce themselves and then she would tell them how they come across and what they should work on. She showed us some exercises to improve our voices and pretty much just got us totally excited to teach yoga. I'm going to Google her and order EVERY ONE of her books. I especially like the idea of Toxic People, which is her book instructing you how to detoxify those negative folks that come into your life.
So that was the week in a nutshell. Overall, I feel a trillion times stronger today than I did last Sunday. I feel better equipped to handle whatever gets thrown at us next week ~ well, at least I hope so. We are supposed to have our Anatomy test tomorrow, then break up into our groups for posture clinics. We are going to have about 15-17 groups of people who will all do our dialogue together and perform the postures. Since I have memorized all the way up to Cobra pose, I feel like I have a head start on those who haven't even started memorizing yet.
Sheila is feeling better, by the way. She finally went to class on Saturday and today she has been up, eating and feeling pretty good. She'll be coming back strong because she's a very determined person. We have lost about 6 people so far, but I knew Sheila wouldn't be one of them. Although she is younger than all my kids (28), we have formed a bond of friendship that I hope will last forever. We are like peers in ways but in other ways we can learn from each other. She says my wisdom is a source of strength for her and her youthful enthusiasm and determination are an inspiration for me.
That's it for week two. Onward to #3! Yikes!

Ah, Saturday!

It has been so nice to actually have time to myself. After this morning's class I went back to the room for a shower, then to the buffet. My appetite has been so weird. I am almost never hungry and when I eat, I try to eat what my body is craving. After class I always want eggs and salt! They make a really good omelet at the buffet. They pour a ton of oil into the pan and fry them up! The opposite of American style. It's OK though, I don't even care if the omelets are full of fat. They taste delicious and that's all that counts. I try to eat as balanced as possible, fruits, veggies, carbs, etc. I need all the nutrients I can get.
After lunch, I came back to the room, fell asleep and slept for 3 hours! Wow, it felt great! It turns out the Sheila had 3 IV's last night. I was asleep when she got back to the room. She seems much better today and she has tomorrow to recover so I hope she'll be OK.
OK, I am having some frustrations and they must be listed:
1. I have no cash and am unable to get cash. The ATMs, I've tried 5 of them, say they can't communicate with my bank. The hotel won't cash a check. They told me that I should have let my bank know that I was going to Mexico and that a bunch of charges will be coming in. Well, I have traveled out of the country many times before but never have I had this experience. I am just doing room charges and Visa charges. Pain in the butt. The only hope I have is to call my bank Monday and tell them to give me my !**!! money! Of course that brings us to the second frustration,
2. Communication with the states by phone. I don't have an international phone plan so I am unable to call home. I set up Skype on my computer and I have tried and tried to call John. He can hear me but I can't hear him. I bought some head phones, but the Mexican head phone selection is a tad limited. I really would love to be able to make calls, but I am at a loss as to how to do it.
3. Lastly, the water. Even the bottled water tastes gross here. I don't know what it is. I'm trying to get used to it. It's not bad when you put your water bottle in the freezer overnight. When it's that cold, it's not too gross.
Well, that's it. Not too many, but still extremely challenging to my patience.
I forgot to tell you about the first night I was here. It was the Mexican independence day and they celebrate as loudly and obnoxiously as Americans celebrate the 4th of July. There was a Mariachi band playing at deafening decibels until about midnight. I had my earplugs in and it was still loud!
Sheila, you wanted to know if I've gone to the beach. Yes, I jumped in the ocean after class one day and that was awesome. Today I went out to the beach and it was just so hot and humid that I came back in. It reminded me of being in the yoga room.
I'm going to close now so I can have some dinner and go to bed early. Now is the only chance I have for sleep. I have to take advantage of it. Later.

Day 1

I'm sitting on the floor in the hallway outside my room (no internet access in the rooms!)trying to piece together what's happening here. It's kind of hard to do because it all seems to run together. OK, we woke up around 7:00 I think and I went down to the cafe for coffee and whatever I could find while Sheila stayed in the room to write in her journal (so much more romantic than blogging, but I don't get to let friends and family know what's going on unless I do it electronically!)

We went into the auditorium at 10:00 for lectures by Jim, Rajashree and, drum roll please, Bikram himself.

Bikram made a rock star entrance down the center aisle wearing white from head to toe and looking like a man of around 35 or 40. Considering he's 63, that's a considerable accomplishment. He then proceeded to talk, non-stop, for 90 minutes. He has shall we say, the gift of gab and said a lot of things that were profound and made really good sense. Of course, a lot of what he says is very un-PC and well, a little off the wall. I took the gems and let the other stuff go. I must say though, that he is a talented "stand up comic" kind of speaker. His timing is great and he is really, really funny. I was laughing out loud half the time!

After his orientation speech, we had another of those fantastic buffets. We were told to come back to the auditorium at 3:00 for the beginning of posture clinic with Bikram. That's where we have to stand up on the stage and recite Half Moon dialogue in front of everyone, including Bikram.

Sheila, my roomie, and I went back to the room to practice Half Moon with each other. She had never done it with another person, only in the mirror with herself! Luckily, Tricia, Michael and Kate at my studio had allowed me to practice on them. I didn't do it much, but I think just doing it a little was good. Anyway, when we got back to the auditorium they announced that posture clinic with Bikram starts tomorrow. Just their way of keeping us guessing.

The next hour or two consisted of meeting the staff. They all stood up and told us a little about themselves and what they would be doing at training. It was entertaining and good to know who everyone was and where they came from. The only one I knew was "Yellow" who came to the Bend studio for a while.

When that was over, we went back to the room to prepare for class at 5:00. Let me tell you, THAT was an experience!

We stood in line to get into the yoga room (there are 310 people here). The room is HUGE and rather intimidating. Mats are 6 inches apart. Lots of bodies. Bikram taught the class and it was a good one because he said he was going to be very easy on us this first time. He was easy, for him, I've taken a class from him before. Still...........it was really hard. I think just the anticipation of the possibility of getting sick or fainting or whatever really bad, embarrassing things could happen. Oh, and there's always the possibility of Bikram picking on you and making you an example of "what not to do" in front of 300 people! Lots of people were lying down for most of the class. I managed to make it through without blacking out or throwing up, so I feel lucky. It was really hot and humid. I was sweating in the initial breathing posture.

OK. it's Friday evening and I am just getting back to my blog. This is the most unbelievable experience I have ever been through in my ENTIRE LIFE!!!

I can't possibly tell you everything that has happened. The physical and emotional roller coaster ride that I have been on for the last 5 days has been almost surreal. As I type this, my roomie, Sheila is down at el doctor being given an IV for extreme dehydration. She has been throwing up since noon. The two 90 minute (mostly 2 hour) classes a day in 105+ degrees with 70 per cent humidity is, believe it or not, almost the easiest part of this whole experience. First of all, the dialogue. We have to go on stage in front of over 300 people and Bikram himself and say the right side of Half Moon posture. It was the most nerve wracking experience I've had since......well, I don't know when I've had such an experience. You are a nervous wreck as you sit in a line waiting to "go before the firing squad." Not only are you nervous about giving a 2 minutes memorized dialogue, but you are always in fear that Bikram will shoot you down. After each performance he gives his feedback. Believe me, he can be very brutal! I was shaking, palms sweating, heart palpitating........I couldn't believe how nervous I was. I have a fear of public speaking which is part of the reason I wanted to do this. Anyway, when my turn was next, I walked up on the stage, took the microphone and for some unknown reason got a lot more relaxed. I introduced myself saying that I was from Bend, Michael Harris' studio. Bikram said, "He is coming". I said "Yes, I know" and that was it. He said "Start please". There are 4 people on the stage with you that are your "students". They follow what you say. When I started talking, it just came out naturally and it ended up being kind of fun. Whew! I was glad to get it over with though. Oh, and his feedback to me was "excellent, no corrections." WHAT A RELIEF!! Sooooo, Tuesday night Bikram announced that we were going to join him watching a Bollywood movie. Let me tell you, I have seen some cheesy, bad movies in my life, but THAT one took the grand prize. It lasted until 2:00 AM and when it was FINALLY over, we all zombied out to catch the elevator to our rooms. We have an 8:30 AM class. That meant 4 hours of sleep because we have to get up at 6:00 to make the class. There is all the preparation. Water.....you just don't know how much water you need. Electrolytes....again, it's a crap shoot. When to eat, when not to eat, etc., etc...
After class, we had 2 hours of free time (!) until posture clinic. All 310 people have to stand up and do their dialogue. That takes the first week. Of course, you get Bikram's rantings to entertain you before posture clinic starts. He is truly one of the funniest humans I have ever known. At the same time, he is remarkably wise and seems to know everything about each person that stands before him to do their dialogue. He just nails you, that's all. It's a gift.
At any rate the past week has been a blur of classes, posture clinics, Bikram's lectures, grabbing food whenever possible and trying to stock up and refrigerate water in a country where you aren't supposed to even drink the water! I have a Brita water pitcher and I have been buying bottled water.
The yoga room is the hottest, most humid room I've ever practiced in, and when you add the 300+ bodies to the mix, it's almost unbearable. People are throwing up, writhing with horrible cramps, passing out and being carried away, sobbing and crying. Unreal!! (Yes, I paid for this.)I have been trying to really pace myself. I am thinking of it like running a marathon. I mean starting extremely conservatively and hoping that I'll be able to sprint later. The only problem I had was yesterday when I mixed Pedialyte into my water. I was on the verge of throwing up during the whole class. That stuff tastes like crap. I hate the smell of it, the taste, the color, everything about it. I'll never drink it again. Lesson learned. Today, I stuck to plain old water and I was fine. By the end of each class, I'm usually lightheaded and have to move very slowly, but at least I'm still among the survivors!
It's 9:30 PM and we have the NIGHT OFF!!! I plan to go sleep as long as I can until tomorrow morning's 8:00 AM class ~ class #10.
I wanted to write more detail, but I just don't seem to have anytime to myself. We have Saturday after class and Sunday off so maybe I can tell some more stories then. I'm am so exhausted, I really have to go to sleep now.
Meanwhile, buenos noches amigos!

I Have Arrived

Whew! What a cyclone these past few days this have been. Cutting to the chase, I finally got packed and ready to go. Saturday morning began at 4:00 AM. John drove me to the airport and off I went for my new, crazy, scary adventure.
After 3 flights, I was actually in Acapulco. I met a young woman named Malvika on the flight to Mexico City who as it happens is a distant relative of Bikram's. She was so fantastic and really fun to talk to. She flew from India to Mexico to go to yoga training. We were laughing about the irony in that.
She was traveling with Rajashree, Bikram's wife, except that Rajashree was in first class and we weren't. Anyway, long story short, a 15 hour travel day to be precise, we arrived at the hotel via a Bikram airport shuttle. The hotel is extremely beautiful and elegant in that old European way.
I got to my room and basically fell into bed. I was definitely hungry after subsisting on nuts and chips and basic airline junk all day, but it really didn't matter. I figured I could eat in the morning.
The following morning (this morning) I went to the buffet and bungled my way through, trying to figure out how it works. I mananged to get some fruit, cottage cheese, banana bread, OJ and coffee. I really couldn't figure out how to get to the real food. It is definitely a different culture and my goal is to be able to figure out how to get my way through a buffet here before I leave. My hacker Spanish has helped some. I have impressed some of my new friends by speaking with the people, but that's only because my new friends speak absolutely zilch Spanish. At any rate, it's so fun speaking Spanish here because most of them have such poor English skills (outside of the hotel, of course) that they seem to appreciate it when you try to speak in their language.
My roommate is named Sheila Carroll and she's from Vancouver, B.C. She seems really great and hopefully we will be compatible space mates for the next 9 weeks.
We are having an orientation at 6:00 PM. Hopefully, there will be some good information forthcoming as to what they have in store for us.
I'm gonna take it one day at a time..............