Week 5, Terminado

Here is a photo of all the women over 50 in training! Super girls! I love them all.

The weeks go by fast here because we get up in the morning and go to yoga class, then we have lunch and practice our dialogue. Next it's posture clinic for 3 hours, then yoga class again. Afterwards, it's dinner and practice our dialogue. Then it's 9:00 and time for lecture or another posture clinic until 11:00 PM. When Bikram lectures, of course, it is anywhere from 12:00 t0 2:30 AM. Weekends are the only time I have to stop and think where I am, what day it is, what month it is, etc.

As for week 5, "it was the best of times, it was the worst of times", to quote Dickens. A roller coaster ride is the analogy that comes to mind.

Monday started out with Michael Harris, my studio owner arriving in town. He stood up to introduce himself to all the trainees on Monday night at the lecture hall. He then proceeded to introduce me as the only trainee from Bend. He went on to say that I was a rock climber, owner of the premier rock climbing shop and guide service at Smith Rock. He also said that he wouldn't be doing the yoga today if it weren't for me. He said I was his inspiration, at 63 years of age and still climbing and doing Bikram yoga regularly. Wow!! That felt really good. I really wasn't expecting that from Michael. He's not one to express himself as to where you stand with him. I wasn't sure. At the same time, I'm glad to know, that his opinion of me is positive.

OK, well that was Monday. Tuesday, he taught the evening class and what a class it was!! It was full of fun and energy and everyone here is in love with him. Now for the really interesting part. Picture the yoga studio....I can't even guess as to how big it is, but it comfortably holds over 300 people. The podium is about 15 feet off the floor. We had just finished Awkward when Michael said, "Carol, come up here please." Well, you can imagine my state of panic and sheer terror when he said that! I thought he wanted to show everyone what not to do in Awkward, because my Awkward is so bad! I went up there and he took his Madonna style head mike off and put it on my head. He said, "Do Eagle, right side". I didn't have time to totally freak out, I instantly knew that I had no choice. As Bikram says, "Lock the knee, no choice!!!!" Michael left me up there by myself and there I was with my mike on looking over a sea of over 300 people looking up at me. I have no idea what came over me, but I just said, "Arms over your head sideways (the beginning of the dialogue for Eagle) and when everyone brought their arms up, it was such a feeling of, well, a combination of power and total adrenalization (is that a word?!), that I just kept going. The dialogue came out and I have no idea where it came from. It just came. At the end, when I said "change", I had a rush of adrenaline like I had just climbed to the top of a grueling 5.10 crack at Yosemite Valley! I wasn't myself again until the standing series was over!

People came up to me for days congratulating me and I felt so good. They said I was up there doing it from them. "One of us, up there teaching." It was truly an amazing experience. Yeah, it was and I thanked Michael for giving me that opportunity, although if he had asked me I would have said, "Absolutely NO!!!!!" As it turned out, I didn't have time to even think what was happening, let alone to get nervous.

But, as it goes in teacher training from hell, the next day I blanked in Tree Pose at posture clinic. That was my first experience blanking. It really sucks. You are up there doing your best with teachers grading you and everyone watching and you blow it. After I blanked and finally remembered where I was in the dialogue, the rest of Tree and the whole of Toe Stand was pathetic. I never regained my confidence. I got a mediocre review and for the rest of the day I was feeling down and frustrated. That's what I mean by the roller coaster ride. Kimberly, I'm wondering if this might have been a "psychosomatic sympathy connection" with you because you told me about your experience blanking on Tree Pose!! Whatever, it was good in the end because I got shot down and I believe you need to get shot down occasionally in order to learn from it. I have tried ever since to really concentrate on the pose and what they are doing in the pose so I don't get lost. It really helps to go through the body parts as you are telling them what to do with with each body part one at a time.

Friday was another story. We were working on Cobra for Friday. Well, I figured that I'd coast through afternoon posture clinic and deliver Cobra on Friday night since I barely had it memorized. Sooooo, at lunch some of my fellow trainees were saying that we would probably get through Cobra at the afternoon clinic. I got really stressed about it, knowing that I'd have to memorize Cobra completely in about one hour, that is if I skipped lunch. I didn't want to skip lunch since you really need food to keep you going here. I filled my plate at the buffet and took two bites and that was it. I couldn't even force myself to eat cause I was so nervous. Bad move. Sheila and I went outside to practice Cobra and we did it for each other a few times. Needless to say, I wasn't prepared in class but I went up there and actually got through the posture. Not bad. I got a pretty good review and it was over. Since we go directly from posture clinic to afternoon yoga class, I had a really tough class and nearly blacked out on my way out of the room afterwards. A direct result of having no food for lunch. The saga continues........Friday night at posture clinic, I knew I could coast and wait until Monday to do Locust. When I got to posture clinic, everyone was telling me that they weren't ready for Locust......YIKES!!! That meant that I'd better learn it because if nobody volunteers, they call you up. About 3 people (the rock stars) did Locust and the rest of us were all sitting there like deer in the headlights, hoping beyond hope that our names weren't called. First they called David Ryan, a guy from New York. David went up timidly and actually did a really good job even thought he didn't really know the dialogue too well. The whole time this is going on, I'm trying to memorize the lines as people did them. Thank goodness I did because they called me next! BAM! Just like that. Same as when Michael called me up to the podium, only difference being that I knew the dialogue for Eagle. I told them that I didn't know the dialogue very well, I had only started learning it that evening but I'd do the best I can. He asked me how long I'd been practicing and I said 4 and 1/2 years. He said to just deliver the posture the way I remember having been told how to do it in class for all this time. That really clicked, so I channeled my inner Tricia, Kate, Michael, Delana, Molly, (my homies) and of course, Kimberly and just went with it. I got the best review I've had yet!!! Knock me over with a feather. They said I sounded like I really knew the dialogue. Well, I guess I can learn a lesson from that whole experience. I was really lucky that time, but I'd better stop figuring that I won't have to do a posture in posture clinic. I have to go into posture clinic ready to do whatever posture they ask for. Also, now I have to go back and memorize Locust because I want to know it when I'm actually teaching. That would truly suck to have to teach it when the dialogue isn't in my hard drive. I'm realizing what a great tool the dialogue is.

Saturday, glorious Saturday. Mark taught the class and he is so cool it's beyond belief. He is great in posture clinic too. He made us laugh, the temp wasn't too hot and he didn't push us too hard. Perfect for a Saturday. Afterwards Clemma, Vickie, Patty, Denise and I all went "off campus" and into Acapulco to shop at Zarra. This is a store that has great clothing for cheap prices. I'd never heard of it. Anyway, our cabbie was named Tao and he spoke very little English. I am feeling so much better about my Spanish here. I'm able to communicate so much more than I could before. I think it's just being immersed that helps. I think if I lived here for 6 or 8 months, I could get up to the level of a 5 year old speaking English. Right now, I'm about age 2 or 3. I can communicate but very basically. I was the only one in the cab that spoke ANY Spanish at all, so I had to tell him where to take us and all that. It was really fun! Zarra was a blast! Just the girls out shopping. Such a nice change from yoga camp. I spent $100 and got 6 items. Unreal! It's nice to have some new stuff to wear to posture clinic. I'm really sick of my same old stuff. I know it will be a morale booster!

Afterwards, we went to Mega to stock up on basics and back to the hotel. Sheila's boyfriend, Rusto, is here and they got another room. I had the night to myself and went to sleep at about 9:00 after a delicious room service meal.

This morning I had brunch with Clemma, Rennet and Lindsay. They're all from Minneapolis. I really love the people I've met here. It's so nice to have each other for support.

It's now 6:30 and I have been studying since 1:00 PM. It's just what I have to do, rest day or not. I ordered room service again....just because. I hope everyone is doing well. I miss everyone in the "real world"!

It's on to week 6!